It’s been an odd year full of ups and downs. There were times of really feeling the will to drive forwards (mainly when there was an end goal of a holiday or wedding) followed by periods of taking my foot off the pedal and feeling content - well until the weight went up and then panic would set in!
I have realised that training for me is not an issue - the gym has always been and will continue to be my sanctuary. At a young age I played professional badminton so being active is central to my life and only in this last year have I realised it’s a necessity for me for my peace of mind. Not because of the output and results… but because of the time it offers to focus and be at peace in my head.
My relationship with food is what I have really explored with RNT - I use food as a surrogate for control. When I feel like it isn’t in my control, I use food as a sort of weapon I guess. For me it was limiting the calories severely in the past and over training - I would limit input rather than make good choices on what to eat. That is what RNT has given me, the mindset to not limit food intake but eat the calories in the right way. Make different choices and be honest about that.
This journey gave me some real insight into why I perceive food as having so much power and the psychological relationship I have with it. I restructured my ‘why’ throughout…and to be honest I am still working on this. I know I want to be strong rather than the physical appearance of getting into a swimsuit as an outcome…but to me that physical ‘why’ is no longer the focus - the psychological why is. My next year is about understanding me and my relationships and how the whole matrix of my life, my choices, my future comes together.
Thank you for all you have offered me. It’s been a huge exploration of self and I am grateful for all your perspectives and I wish you all the very best.