[00:06]
On this episode, we're going to talk about why you wake up exhausted even after eight hours in bed, and a phenomenon called revenge bedtime procrastination.
On this episode, we're going to talk about why you wake up exhausted even after eight hours in bed, and a phenomenon called revenge bedtime procrastination.
[00:14]
You may or may not have heard about it, but it might explain why you find yourself adding another episode, another doom scroll, another bag of chips. Let’s face it—most bad habits come out at night.
You may or may not have heard about it, but it might explain why you find yourself adding another episode, another doom scroll, another bag of chips. Let’s face it—most bad habits come out at night.
[00:29]
Throughout the day we tell ourselves, “Tonight I’m going to be good. I’ll get into bed at 10:00 p.m. and get a full eight hours of sleep.” But then suddenly it’s 11:30… midnight… maybe even 12:30 or 1:00 a.m.
Throughout the day we tell ourselves, “Tonight I’m going to be good. I’ll get into bed at 10:00 p.m. and get a full eight hours of sleep.” But then suddenly it’s 11:30… midnight… maybe even 12:30 or 1:00 a.m.
[00:40]
And there’s no real reason for being awake. The truth is, you're procrastinating going to bed.
And there’s no real reason for being awake. The truth is, you're procrastinating going to bed.
[00:50]
Today we’re going to talk about revenge bedtime procrastination, because it comes up frequently with the people we work with.
Today we’re going to talk about revenge bedtime procrastination, because it comes up frequently with the people we work with.
[00:53]
One reason adherence becomes difficult is that calories creep up at night. Another reason energy levels suffer is that evening routines aren’t dialed in.
One reason adherence becomes difficult is that calories creep up at night. Another reason energy levels suffer is that evening routines aren’t dialed in.
[01:03]
The reality is that we all know sleep is important.
The reality is that we all know sleep is important.
[01:10]
Many people spend six to eight hours in bed, but they’re probably only getting four to five hours of real sleep.
Many people spend six to eight hours in bed, but they’re probably only getting four to five hours of real sleep.
[01:19]
So they wake up feeling like they got hit by a bus. They hit snooze, rely on coffee and caffeine to function, and by 2:00 p.m. they feel ready to sleep under their desk.
So they wake up feeling like they got hit by a bus. They hit snooze, rely on coffee and caffeine to function, and by 2:00 p.m. they feel ready to sleep under their desk.
[01:30]
Then they write it off as bad sleep genetics or say, “I just don’t sleep well.”
Then they write it off as bad sleep genetics or say, “I just don’t sleep well.”
[01:34]
But in reality, they’re doing everything wrong in the three hours before bed.
But in reality, they’re doing everything wrong in the three hours before bed.
[01:38]
So let’s dive into what’s actually going on.
So let’s dive into what’s actually going on.
The Real Evening Routine Problem
[01:42]
I’ll use a few anonymous scenarios because this topic comes up a lot.
I’ll use a few anonymous scenarios because this topic comes up a lot.
[01:48]
Some people swear they have chronic insomnia. They’ve tried melatonin, magnesium, sleep apps, expensive mattresses—nothing seems to work.
Some people swear they have chronic insomnia. They’ve tried melatonin, magnesium, sleep apps, expensive mattresses—nothing seems to work.
[02:01]
The first question I ask is simple:
“What are you doing in the three hours before bed?”
The first question I ask is simple:
“What are you doing in the three hours before bed?”
[02:06]
Without fail, the answer follows the same pattern, especially if you're a busy professional juggling work, kids, and life.
Without fail, the answer follows the same pattern, especially if you're a busy professional juggling work, kids, and life.
[02:19]
It usually looks like this:
It usually looks like this:
- 7:00 p.m. – You’re still working at your desk trying to finish one more thing.
- 8:00 p.m. – You finally finish and realize you're starving. You order takeout.
- 8:30 p.m. – You eat dinner while checking emails.
- 9:00 p.m. – You collapse on the couch and open Netflix or scroll Instagram to decompress.
[02:37]
You tell yourself it’ll only be 30 or 45 minutes.
You tell yourself it’ll only be 30 or 45 minutes.
[02:41]
Next thing you know, it’s 10:30 p.m.
Next thing you know, it’s 10:30 p.m.
[02:46]
And that’s when revenge bedtime procrastination kicks in.
And that’s when revenge bedtime procrastination kicks in.
[02:48]
You have no reason to be up—but you’re still awake.
You have no reason to be up—but you’re still awake.
[02:50]
You rush to get ready for bed.
You rush to get ready for bed.
[02:53]
Now it’s 11:00 p.m.
Now it’s 11:00 p.m.
[02:58]
You get into bed, but your brain is still buzzing.
You get into bed, but your brain is still buzzing.
[03:05]
Eventually you fall asleep around 11:30 p.m., but you stay in light sleep and wake up multiple times.
Eventually you fall asleep around 11:30 p.m., but you stay in light sleep and wake up multiple times.
[03:08]
Then the alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. and you feel destroyed.
Then the alarm goes off at 6:00 a.m. and you feel destroyed.
[03:16]
You were technically in bed for seven and a half hours, but you probably only got about five hours of quality sleep.
You were technically in bed for seven and a half hours, but you probably only got about five hours of quality sleep.
[03:21]
Your melatonin production was suppressed from screens.
Your melatonin production was suppressed from screens.
[03:24]
Your nervous system was still wired from work.
Your nervous system was still wired from work.
[03:27]
And you never gave your body the signal that it was time to shut down.
And you never gave your body the signal that it was time to shut down.
[03:31]
That’s why you feel terrible despite spending enough time in bed.
That’s why you feel terrible despite spending enough time in bed.
What Is Revenge Bedtime Procrastination?
[03:47]
You might be wondering what revenge bedtime procrastination actually is.
You might be wondering what revenge bedtime procrastination actually is.
[03:51]
According to SleepFoundation.org:
According to SleepFoundation.org:
[03:56]
Revenge bedtime procrastination happens when people intentionally stay up late to enjoy personal time—even when they know it will negatively affect their sleep.
Revenge bedtime procrastination happens when people intentionally stay up late to enjoy personal time—even when they know it will negatively affect their sleep.
[04:09]
It often occurs when people feel they have little control over their daily schedules.
It often occurs when people feel they have little control over their daily schedules.
[04:15]
You know you're exhausted, but one more episode, one more scroll, or one more chapter feels like reclaiming your time.
You know you're exhausted, but one more episode, one more scroll, or one more chapter feels like reclaiming your time.
[04:23]
That’s revenge bedtime procrastination.
That’s revenge bedtime procrastination.
[04:25]
While it feels good in the moment, late nights followed by early mornings lead to sleep deprivation and negatively impact both mental and physical health.
While it feels good in the moment, late nights followed by early mornings lead to sleep deprivation and negatively impact both mental and physical health.
[04:40]
This explains why you keep adding:
This explains why you keep adding:
- another Netflix episode
- another social media scroll
- another snack
[04:50]
And it keeps going.
And it keeps going.
The Three Signs of Bedtime Procrastination
[05:01]
For late sleep to count as bedtime procrastination, three things usually happen:
For late sleep to count as bedtime procrastination, three things usually happen:
- You delay going to sleep, reducing your total sleep time.
- There’s no valid reason for staying awake.
- You know it will negatively affect you the next day.
[05:18]
People often delay sleep the same way they delay chores or homework—but sleep procrastination usually involves something enjoyable.
People often delay sleep the same way they delay chores or homework—but sleep procrastination usually involves something enjoyable.
[05:28]
Like another TV episode, another level of a game, or chatting with friends.
Like another TV episode, another level of a game, or chatting with friends.
[05:34]
It can show up in two ways:
It can show up in two ways:
- Delaying bedtime entirely
- Getting into bed but scrolling or streaming instead of sleeping
[05:46]
Both habits reduce sleep time and sleep quality.
Both habits reduce sleep time and sleep quality.
Why It's Called "Revenge"
[05:57]
The word revenge became popular on social media.
The word revenge became popular on social media.
[06:01]
It originated from a Chinese expression describing frustration from long, stressful work hours that leave little time for personal life.
It originated from a Chinese expression describing frustration from long, stressful work hours that leave little time for personal life.
[06:10]
So people “get revenge” on the day by reclaiming personal time late at night.
So people “get revenge” on the day by reclaiming personal time late at night.
[06:22]
The idea spread globally, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.
The idea spread globally, especially during the COVID-19 pandemic.
Why It Happens
[06:42]
Some common causes include:
Some common causes include:
- High daytime stress
- Reduced self-control after a long day
- Personal chronotypes
- Constant exposure to screens
[07:03]
Some studies suggest students and women may experience bedtime procrastination more frequently.
Some studies suggest students and women may experience bedtime procrastination more frequently.
[07:10]
It also tends to show up more in people who procrastinate in other areas of life.
It also tends to show up more in people who procrastinate in other areas of life.
How to Break Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
1. Stop Eating While Working or Watching Screens
[07:36]
If you eat dinner while answering emails or watching Netflix, your body never exits work mode.
If you eat dinner while answering emails or watching Netflix, your body never exits work mode.
[07:47]
Instead, sit down and eat without distractions—even if it's just 15 minutes.
Instead, sit down and eat without distractions—even if it's just 15 minutes.
[07:55]
Your nervous system needs a clear signal that work is finished.
Your nervous system needs a clear signal that work is finished.
2. Turn Off Screens 60 Minutes Before Bed
[08:00]
Blue light from screens suppresses melatonin—the hormone that makes you sleepy.
Blue light from screens suppresses melatonin—the hormone that makes you sleepy.
[08:18]
That’s why you can feel exhausted but still keep scrolling.
That’s why you can feel exhausted but still keep scrolling.
[08:27]
Try switching screens off one hour before bed.
Try switching screens off one hour before bed.
Instead:
- read a book
- stretch
- talk to your partner
- take a shower
[08:39]
Anything that doesn’t involve a glowing screen.
Anything that doesn’t involve a glowing screen.
3. Control Your Netflix Habits
[08:51]
Netflix can help you decompress—but it needs rules.
Netflix can help you decompress—but it needs rules.
[09:00]
For example:
For example:
- One episode only
- Watch between 9:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m.
[09:06]
Then switch to screen-free time before bed.
Then switch to screen-free time before bed.
4. Lower the Bedroom Temperature
[09:18]
Your body temperature needs to drop to enter deep sleep.
Your body temperature needs to drop to enter deep sleep.
[09:27]
If your room is too warm, you're fighting your biology.
If your room is too warm, you're fighting your biology.
[09:31]
Make the room cooler and use blankets if necessary.
Make the room cooler and use blankets if necessary.
5. Create a 30-Minute Wind-Down Routine
[10:10]
A wind-down routine signals your body that sleep is coming.
A wind-down routine signals your body that sleep is coming.
[10:37]
Examples include:
Examples include:
- dimming lights
- reading
- stretching
- journaling
- taking a warm shower
[10:46]
Consistency matters more than complexity.
Consistency matters more than complexity.
[11:18]
Think of it like a child’s bedtime routine—it creates a predictable cue for sleep.
Think of it like a child’s bedtime routine—it creates a predictable cue for sleep.
6. Wake Up at the Same Time Every Day
[11:33]
Even on weekends.
Even on weekends.
[11:57]
If you wake at 4:00 a.m. some days and 7:00 a.m. others, it’s like giving yourself jet lag.
If you wake at 4:00 a.m. some days and 7:00 a.m. others, it’s like giving yourself jet lag.
[12:21]
Pick a wake time and stick within 30 minutes daily.
Pick a wake time and stick within 30 minutes daily.
What Happens When You Fix This
[13:23]
Within the first week, you’ll likely:
Within the first week, you’ll likely:
- fall asleep faster
- wake less during the night
- feel more energized
[13:29]
Eventually, your body develops a rhythm where you may wake before your alarm.
Eventually, your body develops a rhythm where you may wake before your alarm.
[13:46]
Notice that none of these strategies involve:
Notice that none of these strategies involve:
- supplements
- sleep apps
- expensive gadgets
[13:57]
They’re simple behavioral changes.
They’re simple behavioral changes.
[14:00]
Sleep better, and you’ll make better decisions, have fewer cravings, be more productive, and feel mentally and physically stronger.
Sleep better, and you’ll make better decisions, have fewer cravings, be more productive, and feel mentally and physically stronger.
[14:12]
Sleep well—and I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
Sleep well—and I hope you enjoyed today's episode.
Next Steps
- Book a 1-1 strategy session with my team to find out more:
https://www.rntfitness.com/applynow
- Find out if you’re ready for a transformation at
https://www.rntfitness.com/transform
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