In June I got sick for the 6th time in 6 months. My wife was tired of the cycle:

“You’re sick again?!”

Every time it happened I was down and out for 24 hours, then recovering for 3-4 days. It was getting embarrassing.

Here I was, the “health and fitness guy”, laid out once a month from something I couldn’t put my finger on.

I wasn’t catching the normal bugs. It was 24 hours of temperature, migraines and extreme fatigue. 

I was fed up and running out of ideas. So I texted a good friend of mine, a doctor, and asked him to help diagnose. 

On paper, I was eating all the right things, moving regularly, sleeping enough… but here I was, breaking down every 4 weeks.

His reply kinda shocked me:

“Your bloods are good. Your diet is spot on. You’re active. I think this is a mental issue. You might think you’re good at stress management, but I think you’re breaking down. This is a psychological problem.”

At first I couldn’t really understand the diagnosis. I’d been progressively reducing my working hours all year. 

In fact, I was in the middle of a 6 month experiment of “working” only two days a week.

It didn’t make sense, but it triggered me to think about it more. Nothing was helping. 

I’ve always considered myself to have a high level of self awareness. I journal, I reflect, I think about my life often… but I couldn’t break this same loop of burnout. And always feeling mentally drained by my mind.

I was telling another friend of mine how I was feeling. 

“Have you ever considered therapy?”, he said. 

“It might be exactly what you need here - you got the awareness of the problems / symptoms, but you may not know the reasons and more importantly, the exact tools to break out of this loop.”

So I started searching for therapists. Specifically, “therapists for high achievers”. 

I figured what I was experiencing was a form of the classic “never enough” symptom many high achievers struggle with, so I wanted someone with experience of my “avatar”.

I ended up hiring the first person I spoke to (which I hear is rare). I got a good vibe right away. After I explained what was going on, he hit the nail on the head:

“Most high achievers use pain or fear, or a particular fuel source, to drive their ambition and success. At first, it’s hugely rewarding and validating. Success and performance feels like a form of love. But at some point, they hit a glass ceiling and it no longer fulfils them. They realise they need more emotional fulfillment, and must build an identity outside of work.

This glass ceiling can happen at different points in life, and/or at different points in the game, but at some point they’ll hit it, and when it does happen… it comes with an existential internal crisis, or identity crisis so to speak.”

I’d never heard it put like this, but it sounded spot on. I’d probably been in the midst of this for about two years, with no real understanding of how to break out. 

But I was becoming intolerant of where I was, and I was ready to go to war with my mind.

At first I felt embarrassed by the idea of starting therapy. I always thought I could figure this out. 

6 months in, it’s been one of the best investments I’ve made. I’ve only been sick once, and whilst I know I have a long way to go, there’s no going back.

Sharing this is hard. But I’ve had enough private conversations with friends in similar boats to know it’s worth sharing.

2025 has been a tough and life-changing year.

I started the year running with the Kenyans in a rural town called Iten. We welcomed our second daughter, Mahi, in August. And we’ve finished by moving to Dubai, something I’ve wanted to do for about 3 years. 

This is my 9th edition of my annual lessons. Whilst I’ve introduced this piece a little longer and differently to normal, I hope it provides context on the lessons I share today.

So let’s dive in…

1. I am not my work. 

I don’t think I realised how deep I’d entangled my identity into the fabric of my company. 

I’ve heard from long-time founders that the first company they start is always the most emotional. It’s the baby, the one you obsess over, and the one which has a unique ability to pull on your moods. 

If the business is flying, you feel powerful and on top of the world. When you’re going through a rough patch, you can feel like a failure. 

For years, my self worth has been tied into my output. Whilst I may have intellectualised this before, I never really got it until now.

High performers typically need progress and achievement to feel validated; I’m guilty of this, and have been I’d say most of my life. It’s just part of my wiring.

One of the biggest game changers for me this year was learning I’m not my work. And figuring out how to validate who I am, independent of work. 

That’s been tough because RNT Fitness has been built out of my own personal story. It’s been a natural evolution of my life and career. 

I discovered training at 17 because I wanted to feel and look better. After my transformation, I got obsessed with how it all worked. I wanted others to feel the same.

So I went to university to study Sport and Exercise Science. I trained my friends for free. Then graduated in 2013 and started personal training in the city of London. And when I got fed up of being on the gym floor, I launched an online business in 2017, which was RNT Fitness. 

It kinda just happened. It wasn’t a strategic piece, or spotting a gap in the market. Or anything like that. 

If I trace it right back - RNT spawned out of transforming myself at 17-18 years old. It’s effectively been a sophisticated identity project all along, which for many years, was fuel to the fire.

This year, I realised I wanted to (and needed to) break through, and out of this. 

RNT isn’t just a business to me. It’s been a venture where I bottled up everything I learnt about my own transformation, and turned it into a methodology and business. 

And for years, it’s fused my identity, values and self-worth together. Success didn’t just feel good - it felt like validation of who I am.

But this is what has caused so many of my burnout cycles; much of which I never really understood at a fundamental level until now. 

Some of the best advice I’ve gained is:

“I am not my work. Work is a task I do. Failure in business doesn’t mean failure as a person. Success in what I do isn’t linked to success in who I am. Validation externally isn’t a marker of validation internally - you must validate yourself”

And a mental game I’ve tried to play recently is imagining myself putting on a superman outfit to go into RNT mode, then take it off when it’s time to be AV. The goal is to create separation between the two, and build them up independently.

In April I started a running coach certification business with John Starrett, one of the greatest coaches of all time. 

What’s been interesting is I’ve experienced none of what I’ve experienced with RNT in this project. My role is strategic in nature, as opposed to operational - and yet, I see it very much as a separate business asset. Not who I am.

There’s no emotional rollercoasters or identity pulls; which is when I realised how deeply intertwined RNT had become into my DNA.

2. I am my own worst Judge.

I’ve said for many years my greatest fear in life was not fulfilling my potential.

The fear of reaching the gates at the “end of it all” and worrying the Judge would compare the “potential” list with the actuals, and all he’d see is a gap.

Over time I’ve realised I am the Judge, and I’ve been judging that gap and doing very little to bridge the gap because I’ve built this narrative of “I’m meant for more”.

I’d constantly play this story in my head of “this business is the MBA for the real business that’s yet to come.”

And so subconsciously, blocking growth or opportunity out of an unchecked ego.

Have the past 8.5 years been a real world MBA you can’t teach? No doubt about it.

Is there a magical business that’s going to appear and be “the one”? Who knows.

But that waiting for the shiny object, whilst judging an illusory gap, is not a place I’m willing to be in anymore.

The concept of “potential” is something I’ve thought about often this year. I think for type A high achievers, it’s a moving yardstick that is never going to be realised. There’s always more, but when is enough. 

When do you switch from playing the game out of pain and scarcity, to building something out of fun and abundance?

Most type A high achievers will operate out of pain until they hit that glass ceiling my therapist refers to, then the only way forward is to switch the fuel source.

I often wonder what it feels like in my head to not permanently run on scarcity fuel. I now experience more pockets of peace in my day, and it’s scary. 

I’m so used to living with a noise in my head I didn’t realise how much, and how fast I distract myself as soon as it quietens down.

I thought I was self-aware. 2025 showed me there are levels to it - and freedom lives at the deepest one.

Not freedom to work anywhere, or on your own terms. Or to do whatever you like. That’s superficial freedom that’s relatively easy to find. It’s freedom from your mind, and from your thoughts. 

I remember when I first experienced psychedelics about 5 years ago. The shaman kept telling me to let go and surrender to the plant. I kept hanging on… kept trying to check if I was still in my physical body… kept calling out for people to check they were nearby. 

I thought I was having a bad experience. It turns out it was exposing my fear of letting go of control, judgement and fear. And not really knowing what to do if I just stopped trying to hold the reins.

3. Identity gap creates vices:.

You’ve probably caught a vibe already that this year has been all about an identity shift.

And the hard bit hasn’t been stepping into the “new”, because I don’t think I’m there yet. It’s the middle.

A few months ago we coined the phrase The Messy Middle for our members in the Investment Phase. They’ve gotten into shape physically, but their natural habits, routines and identity haven’t caught up yet. It’s when every habit feels like effort, and you’re running two operating systems at once.

What stops members breaking through is not sticking with the process long enough to make the new identity the new norm. Because in the middle, when you’re experiencing a misaligned identity, the risk of vices shoot up. And if you’re not careful, you’ll stay stuck in the old identity.

When you are and who you’re becoming don’t align, people reach for escape coming from:

• Food
• Alcohol/drugs
• Stimulation
• Busywork “checking”
• Caffeine
• Overtraining
• Overworking
• Overthinking
• Distraction
• Procrastination

It shows up in every part of your life, and in every identity transformation you go through.

The friction of the Messy Middle is f*cking rough, and over the past couple of years I’ve been slowly creating new vices to compound the burnout cycles:

• Caffeine reliance, disguised as enjoying coffee
• Wasted time thinking of “ideas”, disguised as growth
• Business content as “entertainment”, disguised as productivity
• Bigger and bigger physical challenges, disguised as pushing my fitness levels

This year I was going for a sub-3 hour marathon on my first attempt. I was smooth sailing and heading for a 2:50-2:55 until my body broke down.

I was gutted at the time because it was the first time I’d ever set my sights on a physical challenge and not achieved it on the time horizon I wanted to.

I caught a frustrating niggle on my posterior tibialis, a small muscle next to my calf, which was much worse than expected. For 4-5 months I kept trying to come back, but kept reinjuring it. Until I was advised to stop all leg training and running for 2 months, and put on hold any races for at least a year.

Running exposes the body - any structural or biomechanical issues you might have will come out in no time.

For years I’d known I had no spring, or elastic strength in my calves and Achilles. I got away with it in bodybuilding, and masked it in Muay Thai. But it was the straw that broke the camel’s back for my running this year. 

Of course, this happened near my fifth or sixth illness of the year, so I feel like it was life’s way of telling me to stop and sort my sh*t out.

Taking the pressure off my running, and going through rehab to learn how to hop and stabilise my body again has been humbling. 

For a while I was embarrassed to tell anyone I was pulling out the Valencia marathon. Kept trying to prove I could do it by rushing back to sessions.

Hard and brutal physical challenges I knew very few people could do was something I’ve always been excited by.

Shredded glutes multiple times, fighting in the ring after 12 weeks, you name it. I thrived off the pain I could handle in the depths of the grind when I knew I was at body fat levels no one I personally knew had been down to.

The identity gap is a dangerous place, and the only way is to breakthrough. Else it’s years and years of recycling vices to try seek safety and control of where you’re at.

This year I’ve eliminated hard physical challenges, cut out caffeine, stopped watching business YouTube content in the evenings, and stopped kidding myself I needed so much thinking time in the week to drum up new ideas. 

I’m basically learning to calm the f*ck down, and it feels liberating.

I gave up daily caffeine when I was looking for solutions to reduce stress on my body, and it led me down a rabbit hole of Ayurvedic medicine.

It turns out my profile, or doshas, is Pitta - who tend to be competitive, goal-oriented, structured individuals. 

And what Pittas need more of is cooling energy, not fire and excitement, because it is already in abundance. So that means less training intensity, caffeine, busywork, and more calm relaxing time.

A friend of mine, a fellow Pitta, told me about this in 2022 when she saw the burnout cycles I kept repeating. But I guess you only listen to certain advice when you’re ready for change.

Whether you believe in Ayurveda or not, the insight landed. To confirm, I don't follow an Ayurvedic diet or live according to their principles. 

This was purely a research piece that helped me identify where I'm at and give a bit more context on it.

4. Become a forensic scientist of the mind

What put me off therapy for many years was I just saw people use it for a chat.

They’d talk about their past, and then never really do anything about it. For me it had to produce results.

That’s ironic given how there’s no way to keep score, and the goal is not to make it a performative experience. And my learning so far is you can’t “win” therapy, only practice the work.

Which I was ready to do - combine looking into the past and long-standing patterns, with doing the actual work to move forward.

One of the best tools I’ve picked up is learning to be a forensic scientist of the mind. Most of my overwork or overthinking comes from an initial trigger or stimulus.

When it happens, my rational and emotional worlds collide, but historically, the emotional always wins. Which is where anxiety comes from. And my way of dealing with it is to pummel it into more performance anxiety. More work, more problems, more pressure, more urgency, just more.

So what I’ve been trying to do is see how fast I can notice these two worlds colliding, and rather than resort to the default behaviour…isolate the feeling… label it for what it is, then try to have a conversation with it.

“Ok what’s going on here? Why do I feel the need to do XYZ? Why do I feel restless? Why do I feel the urge to check XYZ? Why do I feel like this?”

And then, try to create a new action or response which is grounded in values, versus anxiety or scarcity. It’s been hard, and sometimes I feel like I’m getting nowhere. But this is the slow and brutal process of retraining the brain I am committed to doing. 

Where I’ve found this to be useful is in when something might be going wrong in the business in a micro sense, ie. a metric might be down for a couple of weeks.

“Okay, it’s not me failing, or the business failing”. 

It’s asking myself, “what am I learning here and what do I need to figure out to fix it?” 

My default may be to react…fire off a ton of messages, go down rabbit holes, or ruminate on where I may have gone wrong. 

This sort of behaviour is a sense of control for me - it’s safer to be in a rapid impulse mode.

What I’ve realised this year is whilst my physical habits are in a good place now, the work is now in my mental habits.

Because once you get the insights, awareness and reasons from any sort of personal development work, that’s when the work to recondition your mind, brain and identity begins. 

“Peace over pressure” is one of my top personal objectives for next year. It’s hard to quantify what exactly that looks like. 

I guess it’s my way of reminding myself it’s okay to feel calm, relaxed and peaceful, and not always need to be in a state of urgency, pressure and low-grade anxiety.

5. Every founder needs to be reminded of the mission

In the middle of 2025 I wanted to connect with our most successful members regularly to get to grips (again) with who exactly we serve and the outcome they’re looking for.

Also to remind myself why I do what I do building RNT Fitness. As a founder, you're often always firefighting and solving all the problems in your business. And sometimes you can forget the magic of how life-changing what you do actually is.

So in July I started creating a regular cadence where I connected to this magic by recording more “Hall of Fame” podcast episodes - boosting it from once a month to weekly.

After a few weeks, I started feeling that sense of purpose and fire come back that was potentially starting to fade. Just as a function of time and probably not having these reminders in the diary.

Then in October, I visited New York to host a weekend retreat.  We had over 50 people in the room, and the energy and the passion for what we do was just infectious. 

Probably the best thing about this weekend was hearing from so many members just how life-changing the journey has been. 

There was a moment where a lady aged 65 shared how her inflammation markers went from debilitating to reversing aging by about ten years. 

Another where a physician shared so intensely the power of her transformation I was holding back a few tears - which very rarely happens. The depth in her eyes as she was speaking really got to me!

There were many, many stories just like this and it hit me hard as to why we do what we do at RNT Fitness. 

A physical transformation done properly can be the vehicle in every part of your life; from your career, your mindset, your health, and your relationships… it’s the biggest unlocker for becoming the best version of yourself.

I'm writing this as a reminder to myself, and I guess many other fellow founders who might be here will be able to resonate. 

In order to stay in the game and build a company that lasts (we’re 8.5 years in so far!) you’ve got to create a cadence where you can keep connecting to the magic. 

6. Having two children is a real step change!

On August 10th, 2025, Mahi was born in the beautiful water birth Chandni had always wanted.

I heard from many friends having two is like having four. Of course, you write it off at the time.

Your life changes quite a bit when you have no kids to one kid, but the step change from one kid to two kids is a big one. 

I think as a dad, reality hits you harder because you can be more flexible when there's just one kid. With two, you start feeling like you’re really a dad, and your sense of responsibility goes up ten fold.

Looking back, I genuinely don’t know how Chandni pulled off project managing our relocation to Dubai with a newborn. A real lesson in the continued strength of a mother’s love and determination.

If I was left in charge, I think we’d have ended up in the wrong Emirate!

7. Your environment resets your baseline

For 10 years I wanted to experience living abroad. And since starting RNT, I’ve done the whole “NOMAD” thing a fair bit.

Going away for a month here, a month there (mostly in the winter months)…

Then in 2024, Chandni and I took a 7 month Sia away for 3 months (my longest trip), 7 weeks of which were in Dubai.

We’ve spent a lot of time here over the years, and the conversation about moving has always popped up.

After the 2024 trip, we almost signed the papers. But the London summer came just in time to seduce us for another year.

And then came all the changes in the UK government…another dark winter…and a fast realisation we were outgrowing our small (but incredible) flat…

So instead of going for the “big house in London” - we decided this year would be the perfect time to try something new.

10 years ago - when I started feeling this itch - I always thought it’d be to the US… somewhere like LA or NYC.

And whilst I love them both for short trips, I didn’t see myself living there.

Dubai in more recent years has felt like the clear winner. Great location, great energy, and always innovating. So we pulled the pin and here we are!

Will we be back? Who knows. The beauty of this move is anything is possible, with a world of new opportunities.

As of writing this four weeks in, we’re very much in the honeymoon phase, but it feels like the right move for us as a family.

8. AI will become the operating system of every transformation.

Three years ago in my 2022 Annual Lessons, I spoke about the launch of Chat-GPT.

My guess at the time was AI would replace most, if not all of the “Xs and Os” coaches do, providing even better recommendations than humans can.

And the role of a coach will develop into one entirely focused on the softer skills, and the personal touch.

Two years later in my 2024 Annual Lessons, I wrote something along the lines of the whole AI craze not impacting us.

Interesting because I’m not sure why I’d started to write it off. It’s not going anywhere. It’s not a tool anymore - I believe it’ll be the operating system of how people go through a transformation in the near future.

My own use case has skyrocketed this year from the odd research tool, to a daily companion.

Everything from idea generation, to thinking partner, to note taking, to literally building out contracts for new companies.

It’s become wild.

One of the biggest use cases for AI right now is in the therapy world. 

People use it for the deep stuff in their life - which I think is interesting for a company like ours which focuses a lot on mindset.

Weight loss isn’t going anywhere, but I think the online coaching space is about to go through a transformation in the next 3-5 years. 

I think people will be able to get better results with an AI / human hybrid. AI for deep personalisation and real-time feedback. Humans for community, empathy and relatability. For real deep change, the combination will be killer. 

Humans alone will be leaving a lot on the table, simply because of the way people interact with AI in every facet of life now.

AI alone I’m not so sure will tick the box of deep human connection. I may be wrong, and the innovation may come outside the realm of LLMs, and into spatial AI. Let’s see.

Either way - we’re not flirting with AI. We’re all in and right now I see two use cases for what we do:

1. An AI Coach Assistant - who’s role is to give our coaches superpowers - more insights, feedback, capacity, efficiency and context to help our members achieve better results.
2. An AI Coach Concierge - rolling up all our IP and infrastructure into a 24/7 RNT AI who can give immediate feedback to our members when they need it. 

Like if they’re stuck at an airport, or wondering how to make a swap at an event, or about to fall off track at night. The little moments. But rather than using ChatGPT, building something which has the context of their exact phase, data and trained in the very best RNT IP.

I feel we’re well positioned for the next wave, and I’m excited by where RNT is heading over the next 5-10 years.

9. Financial independence is downside protection.

In my 20s I didn’t really think about money. I just wanted to work. In 2025 financial independence is something I think about often.

A few of my friends over the years have always advised me to make sure I take a few chips off the table as I go along in my business journey, and invest it.

My friend Dan Hill calls it “living off the steam”. Others call it “the principle”. 

I never really paid much attention to it. I thought they were being paranoid. But something clicked at the end of 2024 where I began to ask questions like “what if it all went up in the air tomorrow?”

Maybe it was knowing I wanted to move, or because I was going to be a dad of two. Or maybe it was wondering if AI makes what we do irrelevant. Lots of variations of this. It could even be an age thing. Really if I think about it - it’s about protecting the downside.

Because nothing lasts forever, and anything can happen. And a common trait I’ve seen in friends a bit further along in the journey is that as much as they love business, they love mitigating their risk profile even more.

So what does this mean? Looking at money in a more holistic, balanced fashion. Being consistent in investments outside of my main business. And feeling bulletproof financially.

10. Injuries can be a gift (and it’s never too late for PBs)

The positive of injuries is you can allocate more energy to different body parts.

Since October my training week has been a mix of 2x easy runs, 2x upper body days, 2x rehab workouts and the odd Muay Thai sessions.

There’s been very little intensity, with no workouts leaving me wiped out. It’s actually been a nice change. I wake up recovered most days with no training hangovers.

The best bit however has been hitting new all time personal bests in my upper body workouts.

At the start of December I floor pressed 54kg for 4 reps. The last time I pressed anything like this I was 87-90kg. I now sit in the high 70s year round.

For about 18-24 months my upper body training has been bottom of the pile after running, Muay Thai and legs. 

It was always just maintenance, getting whatever workout energy I had left over for it. So it’s been fun bringing back the bodybuilding style training and hitting some personal bests.

Coupled with this - I’m finally fixing my lifelong weakness in my calves, as well as a bunch of stability issues in my hips and glutes. All stemming from when I tore my L3/L4 discs in 2012.

Injuries can be a great opportunity to slow down - even if it takes you away from the workouts you enjoy the most.

I wrote in my last year’s lessons a bold ambition to run a sub-3 hour marathon. Whilst I was able to run with the Kenyans in Iten - a life changing experience, and hit a few half marathon PBs, this year wasn’t my year.

I’m still going to go for it, but I’m going to wait.

When I first started rehabbing my calf, I could only hop on one leg for 8 seconds. As of mid December, I’m up to 47 seconds.

Apparently I need to be at 2-3 minutes if I want to be running a marathon safely, so there’s work to be done.

But this time, maybe for the first time in my life, I’m not rushing it.

What’s next for 2026?

This year won’t go down as a record breaker, but it will go down as one I’ll remember as the start of a breakthrough.

I’ve talked for years about the Identity Gap our members experience after they lose a lot of weight.

The need to become a new person in order to stay in shape.

I feel like I’m going through my own version of the Messy Middle.

Fed up of living in my old identity and all that fuels it… but without the know-how yet on how to live in the new one.

In 2026 I have a few personal objectives I’m thinking about.

I want to thrive in Dubai and enjoy every bit of the experience and opportunities it has to offer.

Sia starts nursery in January, and Mahi will be turning one soon - the family is growing and I’m excited to see how they develop.

For years I’ve been the guy in baggy hoodies and torn T-shirts. I didn’t really care. But the other day I looked at myself in the mirror and wasn’t vibing with it anymore. Maybe it’s part of this whole journey.

I don’t know what’ll come out of this yet - but I was googling stylists last week thinking I could do with a revamp. And the other day I bought a few linen shirts for day to day wear. Let’s see where we end up.

 

All I know is next year I got a feeling it’ll be the Year of the Breakthrough - not in business. In me.

To read previous instalments:

Top 20 Things I Learned In 2017

Top 20 Things I Learned In 2018

Top 20 Things I Learned In 2019

Top 10 Things I Learned In 2020 

Top 20 Things I Learned In 2021 

Top 15 Things I Learned In 2022 

Top 19 Things I Learned In 2023 

Top 12 Things I Learned In 2024